My Time on AW: Looking Back, Looking @ Now, Looking Forward

This isn’t a rant or a vent. It’s a reflection:

I was re-reading some threads that I started in an Absolute Write (AW) subforum. Some of my dark times (not the darkest) I spent on that board; my first vent was way back in 2009 (I feel old remembering that year!). And as life progressed, I had a few more rants appear. Not sure what I expected, if anything, only that I would be able to rant and release a cosmic build up of pressure in safety. Beyond my non-existent expectations, I received far more than a safe place to vent; I got support, advice, encouragement, accounts of others with similar experience. Most of all, I found I wasn’t alone.

Looking back, those threads had one common theme: viewpoint. Forum members who responded to my threads told me as much; I thought I’d solved my viewpoint issue each time I opened a thread. Hah! Ego! What a farce! 😛 Clearly not, but progress was there.

My most recent rant was at the end of 2015. The darkest culmination of two totally craptastic years, where everything was nothingness. Just being able to ask for positive vibes, thoughts and hugs was a huge comfort. And AW responded as it always has: with compassion, support and positivity.

Reviewing two or three of those threads has brought home how much advice I received, how much I’d forgotten, and yet, how much more I’ve implemented. The viewpoint issue persists, but it’s improved a lot since then. And there’s a physical pose that I’ve consciously reinforced the use of. The difference between then and now is stark. Point is, it works.

So some things haven’t changed. Some things have. The pose has defintely become routine (almost second nature), and the viewpoint thing has switched a bit so I can now concentrate on prioritising things and improving my life. Of the things I still despise, not much of the original list remains. Of course, I still detest crowds and the sound of mastication (open- or closed-mouth) still drives me nuts. I still abhor incompetence and lackadaisical attitudes at work. On the other hand, I’m truly grateful to have found AW.

In time, with a little work, the pose will be truly second nature and the viewpoint issue will be no more. Or at least, minimised. And other things and projects I’m working on will bear fruit. In time. Everything turns out, or will turn out, all right in the end. True every time? No. Most of the time? No. In balance? Yes. And that’s my usual mantra: Everything balances out; it always does.

My Time on AW: Looking Back, Looking @ Now, Looking Forward

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