“When someone’s life is miserable, they look for ways to destory someone else’s.” [Paraphrased quote.]
That (paraphrased) quote sparked some thoughts about misery and the expression of it.
Essentially: people proejct — especially their flaws or inadequacies — onto others. Either they can’t face who they are, or are oblivious, or are just that vicious, cruel and nasty. But isn’t the basic rationale the same? These negative, critical people are miserable. Something in their life is bringing out the worst in them. For example, someone criticises your hair — it’s too thick and unruly, and it’s a mess. Or they state that your work is crap and they don’t have the time otherwise they would do it themselves and good riddance to you!.
In both cases, the critics are very unhappy poeple and projecting it.
Perhaps A’s hair is flat, limp, greasy and thin. Or thinning. Perhaps they’ve always had thin hair and are jealous. And B has a skills inferiority complex, hence the desire to act out (as it were). The ‘lack of time’ excuse is just that. Fact is, B could not do better and the target could.
However, it’s highly doubtful either personality type would recognise the projection problem or their misery, regardless if someone pointed it out or not:
There was once a wisp of a girl who craved attention but never received enough of it amongst classmates. At home, she had all the diva-esque attention and comfort she desired. So it came to pass that two best friends included her in their friendship. But for various reason, the three never hung out together after school. No malice existed in these actions, though.
Unfortunately, the wispy girl grew jealous of the two best friends — F and G. Wispy was not getting enough attention from F (G was considered an obstacle to that attention). And F and G’s close friendship dwas infuriating. So, Wispy claimed G was bullying Wispy using sarcastic asides and isolation in language classes that F did not attend. And also gang-bullying with another girl Wispy despised.
Wispy’s accusations ran from bullying, to destructive sarcasm, to isolation, to claiming that G was forever belittling her, and racism and getting teachers to join in the bullying. All accusations were levelled in tears and behind G’s back — of course.
You could almost believe that list if not for the last two items:
Bullying by teachers isn’t uncommon, but to gang up with a student to do so, is.
And racism was improbable: both girls were of the same ethnicity from the same village.
Still, the projections continued. And G was oblvious or naive or both to assume that F would see the actual facts.
Soon, it was clear that F and G were no longer best friends. F believed Wispy’s story and the friendship broke. Wispy thought she had won. She continued to criticise G, but the end of the school year arrived not long afterwards. And F never hung out with Wispy, nor called.
The facts behind th fabrication came to light a few weeks into the summer holidays before university started. Simply: Wispy was being sarcastic and getting called out for it. And G had defended Wipsy from attack by another classmate. But Wispy had seen nothing except G stealing what Wispy saw as rightfully hers — the spotlight.
So, a case of lies, projection and viciousness born from jealousy and misery.
Where are these three now? Who knows? But it’s certain that G will never contact F or Wispy and any accidental meeting will be met with icy evasion and contempt for both F and Wispy.
F and Wispy are likely still in that country that spawned such misery but not in contact. And it’s highly probable that Wispy is still very unhappy or in miserable circumstances. Not because the circumstance itself is bad, but because Wispy sees only the negative. So, a nasty existence of her own making.
But, such is one type of ending for miserable people.